After he left I too stood up and started walking when I heard Munna and Swati's voice. I turned and looked at them. They were giving me an expression of 'what was going on' and I gulped seeing those expressions. Seeing them I knew thousands of questions are waiting for me. But I didn’t know if I was ready to answer them. I saw them walking towards me and I smiled at them. We all sat down on the same table where Sameer and I were sitting a minute ago.
I was just staring at both of them when Swati said "what are you waiting for we want to know who that guy was". Hearing her I closed my eyes and after few seconds I opened it.
I sighed and took a deep breath before saying "papa wants me to marry him so". I stopped midway to notice their expressions and as expected they were shocked hearing this.
"So what" Swati asked impatiently.
"So I just came here to meet him" I said while trying to smile and behave as normally as possible.
"You are saying no to this marriage right" Munna asked me.
I sighed and said "since how long you guys know me? If you know me then you would know my answer too. I know you guys care for me but I don’t have a heart to say no to papa"
"Don't do this" come an instant answer from Swati.
I wasn't shocked with their behaviour because it was expected, I know them very well and their behaviour too so I knew something like this would come up, but still I wasn't prepared for it.
"You might have other options too just relax and think. I am sure you will be able to find a way" Munna said. At this suggestion I felt like laughing.
"Munna since when my destiny started giving me options? Do I ever have any options? Then why would it be different this time?" I asked Munna.
Before we could talk my phone started ringing and when I checked who was calling, I picked the call. It was from my house. After I picked it up, one of the servants told me that papa was coming back home now and wanted me to be at home.
I sighed because I knew my destiny or rather my father has decided my answer even before I could clearly think on it with a peace of mind.
After cutting the call I told Munna and Swati about papa wanting to meet me so I had to leave now. They reluctantly agreed but also said that I should think once again. I smiled at them or rather at the irony of my life and left from there.
I reached home and saw papa was sitting at the dining table with a coffee mug. I slowly walked towards him and stood behind him silently. I knew he wouldn't like me talking so I kept quiet and waited for him to speak.
When he left my presence, without turning back he said "Sameer has said yes for the marriage and marriage would happen by the end of this week".
I stood there stunned, by the end of this week was he serious? I thought he would say within a month or two but by the end of this week wasn’t it too early. My mind started working negatively, was he doing this because he wants me to leave this house as fast as possible? Yeah this could be the only reason for my sudden marriage, otherwise why a father would rush for his daughter's marriage.
Next thing which came in my mind was that if this marriage was so sudden would there be any functions of the marriage or I would have a court marriage?
I didn't had to wait for long for my answer as he said "on Friday morning be ready by 9:00 am as we would have to reach court by 10:00 am".
Saying that he stood up and without even seeing my reaction to this news he walked away. The tears which I was controlling till now started flowing down my cheeks.
I ran towards my room as quick as possible. I shut the door once I entered my room. I sat on my bed with my legs cuddled up to my chest and my back was resting on the bed post.
After few seconds of crying I realised that I was CRYING and I shouldn't be crying, because whenever I cry something bad happens.
I tried to console myself that I shouldn't cry otherwise something worst would happen, but I just couldn't stop myself from crying.
I looked upwards and prayed to god "please ab kuch bura mat karna I won't be able to handle it please"
To control my crying I slept for an hour or two and after waking up I felt like writing my diary as that's the only way I can pour my emotions out.
Aaj ka din boht ajeeb tha! pehli baar laga ki shayad koi hai jisse meri parwaah hai. Munna Swati are my only friend's or rather best friend but still I can't share everything that I feel with them. I do trust them but I am scared. Scared of my destiny, whenever I am close to someone, they are brutally taken away from me and by sharing what my heart feels will bring them much closer to me than they already are. This isn't good, the moment they will come close to me I know my destiny will snatch them away and I am in no state to lose them as they are the only one with whom I smile or laugh for a while. Pata hai diary kabhi aisa lagta hai ki kash bachpan ke vo din vapas aa jaye, where I was unknown to the terms such as happiness, sadness, destiny and its cruel games. Bas har baar ki tarah iss baar bhi nahiin pata what have I done that I don't receive happiness? I wanted a traditional marriage and I would have loved to wear my mother's marriage dress. Though I doubt papawould have allowed me to wear that dress but I would have tried taking the permission. Sadly nothing would happen like that now because no traditional wedding would happen. I have no option but to settle for a court marriage as decided by my father. Traditional shaadi hoti toh jaise Swati kehti thi school main hero heroine se chup chup ke milne ata hai, romance karta hai vaise hi Sameer bhi chup chup ke aate mujhse milne sab mujhe tease karte or yahi pal hamari zindagi ke sabse khoobsoorat pal hote. But I guess destiny definitely has different plans. Kya mujhe kabhi khushiyaan milengi? I highly doubt that. Happiness and me are poles apart. Mien aaj royi hoon toh pakka kuch toh bura hoga per yahi soch ke darr lagta hai ki or kitna bura hoga or usse zyada darr iss baat ka lagta hai ki ab bacha hi kya hai bura hone ke liye? Kya yeh shaadi main kuch bura hoga? I just hope kuch bura na ho. Kehte hain shaadi ek nayi zindagi ki shuruaat hoti hai kash mere liye bhi ho. Bye diary have to prepare a lot.