During my entire car journey I didn't cry neither looked at Sameer just kept starring outside the window. I don't know whether this new life would bring happiness in my life or not. It’s not like I’ll have an option but whatever happens I'll accept it, be it sadness only. I hope the later doesn't happens, only happiness come but knowing God I know he wouldn't make it simple for me. I would have to walk the path of sadness and I guess I am not prepared for it. I kept looking outside the window and wished the way things were passing by at speed, my sad days too could move at speed. It seemed like life’s stuck from long at the same place and its emotionally draining.
I have seen enough of sadness and lost all hopes of happiness but I still hope my new life, my marriage only brings truckload of happiness. I don't know whether expecting happiness was right or wrong but I just wish it doesn't shatters like always. Probability of shattering was more, well history conveyed this.
Finally the car stopped in front of a huge mansion, the size of the mansion was same as my house or rather dad's house. I don’t think that house ever belonged to me but that was the only place I could call mine but I guess reality was is and will be that it was my father’s house and since I had no other place to stay, I was just allowed to stay in that house maybe.
Since the end of my duppatta was still tied to Sameer's chunnari I looked at him to ask from where should we get down. When I looked at him I saw him opening his side of door which meant I had to get down from his side only.
After coming out of the car we moved towards the door where vishakha aunty and some other ladies were waiting for us. Vishakha aunty did our aarti and then asked me to push the kalash which I gladly did it. She then asked me to keep my leg in the bowl which had red water I didn't know what it is called or why is it done because there was no one to tell me about these things, all I knew was that brides do it as its always shown in films and serials. After stepping in that bowl which contained red water I walked few steps and then vishakha aunty guided me towards a room.
When I reached the room I realized it was the pooja ghar of the house. Vishakha aunty then asked me to dip my hands in the thaal which had haldi and leave my hand prints on the wall. I did whatever she asked me to do it and then we walked towards the God to take their blessings. I so wanted to say that he will never bless me instead give me more pains. I had no option but to take God's blessing.
It's an irony people say if you take God's blessing happiness will always prevail in your life but seeing my history taking God's blessings always means sadness and troubles. So, I had left taking his blessings though on every birthday I used to visit mandir, to pray for myself and also to do havan for mom. During festivals would do pooja but that was it other than these days I never took his blessings and on the day of my marriage which was a beginning of my new life I certainly don't want his blessings. But alas I had to take it as I didn’t had any other options.
After taking the blessings I was worried, I only want that nothing goes wrong. Hope at least this time God listens to me. My thoughts were broken when vishakha anuty brought a bowl and said that sameer and I had to find the ring hidden inside the bowl. I had seen in many films and serials that while finding the ring groom often holds the brides hand and everyone teases the couple.
I know nothing of this sort would happen because Sameer and I hardly know each other to behave like this. Also, I had never imagined it to happen but I don't know why today I want it to happen. Perhaps a part of my heart always wanted it to happen ever since I had heard or seen it, but I might have never paid attention to it or might have brushed it aside.
We dipped our hands into the bowl and started finding the ring. Sameer didn't hold my hand instead he was trying his best that he doesn't touch my hand. Negative feelings were surrounding me once again but I still kept it aside and concentrated on searching the ring. Finally the ring was found but not by me but by Sameer. I smiled and everyone cheered for him. Winning and me? Well there has always been an inverse relationship but yeah sometimes exceptions have been there don't know how and why.
Thankfully there were no more rituals and vishakha aunty took me to Sameer's bedroom I believe or should I say to our bedroom. She told me that a glass of milk was kept on the side of the bed and hearing that I was confused but then it struck me I have seen in some films how the wife gives a glass of milk to his husband on the first night of wedding. I nodded my head though I still don't know why a glass of milk is given to the husband on the first night of their wedding. Vishakha aunty smiled and left the room. Now all I had to do was to wait for my husband to arrive. I was still thinking of how to kill the time when suddenly I remembered that I had given ramu kaka some money to return it to dad.
By now papa must have reached home and ramu kaka would have given him the money. I am curious to know his reactions should I call ramu kaka and ask him? Or should I wait till tomorrow morning for my pag phera? Pag phera that reminds me I doubt pag phera would take place and even if it will take place I am sure papa will make some excuse of meeting and won't be at home. I sighed; I better call and ask now because my curiousness won't stop until I come to know his reactions. I don't know why I want to know his reaction may be because to see does it affects him if I refuse to use his money and instead use mine. Does he feel bad or not? Did it hurt him?
I quickly called ramu kaka on his cell and waited for him to pick it up. When he picked it up I quickly asked "ramu kaka did you return the money to papa? Did he say anything? Did he reacted on it or asked why I didn't use it? Boliye na ramu kaka"
Instead of replying me I heard him saying "bitiya kya aap khush ho". This was enough to break me, tears started flowing down my cheeks. When I didn't say anything I heard him saying "bitiya miene apke paise saab ko de diye hain or unhone kuch nahiin kaha bas vo paise rakh liye. Bitiya jab aap aaj subha ghar se jaa rahi thi toh mien apse yeh pooch kar apka din kharab nahiin karna chahta tha per aap khush ho na iss shaadi se". This time I really had to reply otherwise ramu kaka will misunderstand my silence "hain". That’s what came out of my mouth and then I wiped my tears. "Aap hamesha aise hi khush rahe iski dua hum roz karenge" I smiled hearing it.
Before I could speak anything I heard the door being opened. So I quickly mumbled a bye and said would call later and kept the phone. My ghoongat was still there so I didn’t had to adjust it, it was Sameer and I could hear his footsteps which meant he was walking towards me. My breath got stuck in my throat. I felt his presence near me and I didn't know what to do or how to react.
"Naina I don't know why you agreed for this marriage but you shouldn't have agreed for it". This sentence was enough for me to know that my decision of taking God's blessing was wrong. I shouldn't have taken it at least things wouldn't have gone wrong. I knew happiness in my life was something never possible. Anyways I kept quiet as I didn't know what to say and my silence must have given Sameer a hint that I am shocked with this so he continued speaking "I know it must not be easy for you but I have to tell you this that I wasn't ready for the marriage but did it because of my mother's wish. Actually I loved a girl but my mother didn't like her and then suddenly my mother’s husband and Rakesh uncle decided to merge their companies and for that our marriage was decided. I don't know if you know about this merger or not but I still wanted to tell you everything and I promise I will try to work on this relationship”. Hearing him I didn't know how to react, all I know was, I was blank.
Sorry for being late was totally occupied with some personal work.... Hope you enjoyed the update.... I know i left it at a cliff hanger but from now on each update will have such twist... hope it keeps u hooked to the story....
Eagerly waiting for your reviews/feedback/suggestions....