Hearing him I didn't know how to react, should I shout at him for this or should I ask him to explain himself? Tears had already welled up in my eyes but I didn't wanted to cry in front of him so I quietly stood up and walked towards the washroom. I closed the door behind me and then stood in front of the mirror. Look at the irony of life, usually the groom lifts the veil and here I was lifting my veil that too in washroom. I looked at myself in the mirror.
With each passing seconds, tears started flowing down from my eyes. I kept one of my hands on my mouth so that my noise doesn't go out. I closed my eyes tightly, I didn’t care to wipe my tears I let them flow. I hit my back with the wall behind and slid down on the floor. I cried over my fate.
I always knew that my life means no happiness then why, why did I even for once thought that this marriage will bring happiness in my life? How can I be such an idiot? How can I be such a big fool to even think about happiness? I shouldn’t have ignored my fear. I looked towards the ceiling and talked with God as usual but this time without uttering any voice.
"Mujhe pata tha pata tha ki aap kuch toh gadbad karoge hi ab aap khush hai mil gaya apko sukoon mujhe rula ke? Pata hai bhagwaan mujhe bilkul bhi tajub nahiin hua balki mien hairaan toh tab hoti jab sab kuch theek chal raha hota or kuch gadbad nahiin hoti. Per apko pata hai bhagwaan mien nahiin tootne wali suna apne mien nahiin tootne wali, hain kaha tha miene ki ab koi bhi gum milega toh mien toot jaongi bikhar jaongi lekin agar mien tooti toh yeh meri haar or apki jeet hogi toh phir mien apko kaise jeetne doo? Mien nahiin tootoongi or na hi haar manoongi apko jo karna hai kar li jiye jitna dukh dena hai de dijiye ab mujhe farak nahiin padta kyunki mujhe dukh sehne ki aadat ho chuki hai. Mere paas ab khone ko bhi kuch nahiin hai sab toh cheeng liya apne meri khushi mere sapne ab kya cheengoge? Ab bas jaan bachi hai or ab toh mien wait karoongi ki kab aap usse cheengoge?"
After talking to God I cried for few more minutes thinking what my destiny wants from me? Where it wants to take me? What is the future of this marriage? Above all what should I do to overcome this trouble? Why did I grow up? I was good as a child only as my life revolved around school and its work.
I remembered my childhood which was the best one though papa never talked or loved me then also but still I was totally unaware of the terms like happiness and sadness neither had tensions, I used to be content if not fully happy. Love and care two terms were unknown to me, whenever I used to see other children getting love of their father it always used to upset me. I used to be curious to know why papa behaves indifferently with me, wish I had never ever searched for truth.
Suddenly something struck in my mind. I stood up and washed my face. I plastered a smile on my face, by now I was a master in this. Since childhood I have hidden my tears and pains from everyone. My every tear and pain is hidden behind my fake smile. Till date no one has seen beyond this mask, munna and swati have partially seen beyond but I have always managed to keep my mask intact.
I walked outside the washroom and saw Sameer standing near the window starring at the sky. I mustered up some courage and walked towards him.
I stood behind him and said "Sameer thank you for telling me the truth. Mujhe ab pata chala ki apne mujhse yeh kyun poocha tha ki do I belief in interfering in others life or not, mujhe tab toh uska matlab samaj nahiin aya tha lekin ab zaroor aa gaya hai and I promise I won’t interfere in your life. Per mien chahti hoon ki jaane se se pehle mien apko apke pyaar se milwake jao"
Hearing me Sameer turned and asked "jaane se pehle matlab"
"iss rishte ki koi ahmiat nahiin hai Sameer mien janti hoon apne kaha hai ki aap poori koshish karenge iss rishte ko nibhane ki lekin jab apka dil hi kissi or ke paas hai to iss rishte main aap chahkar bhi poori tarah se involve nahiin ho payenge". Hearing me Sameer tried to interrupt me by saying "per"
But I interrupted him by asking "per ver kuch nahiin vo ladki toh apse pyaar karti hai na?" He replied "hain per"
"miene kaha na koi per ver nahiin aap divorce paper tyaar kar sakte hain jab tyaar ho jaye toh mujhe de dijiyega mien sign kar doongi . Court six months saath rehne ko kahegi uske baad I'll leave per hain jane se pehle I'll unite you with your lover or aunty ko bhi mana loongi" Saying that I turned around and said "boht raat ho gayi hai ab hume so jana chahiye".
"hhmm ek minute" saying so he walked towards the bed, picked a pillow and a bed sheet and started making a bed on the floor.
Seeing him doing all this I said "aap yeh sab kyun kar rahe hain mien karloongi" He stopped doing whatever he was doing and looked at me with confusion and said "huh"
"apko takleef karne ki zaroorat nahiin hai mien bed bana loongi"
"lekin aap kyun mera bed banayngi aap toh bed pe so rahi hai"
"nahiin mien apke bed pe kaise so sakti hoon yeh apka ghar hai apka room or apka bed toh aap bed pe hi soiye mien neeche so jaongi waise bhi mujhe aadat hai"
"lekin aap bed pe so sakti hai mujhe koi problem nahiin hai neeche sone main"
"nahiin yeh apka room hai aap bachpan se iss bed pe so rahe hain its ok mien adjust kar loongi and yeah vo miene washroom use kiya aapka without taking your permission I am sorry for that next time aisa nahiin hoga"
"aap sorry kyun bol rahi hain its ok aap kabhi bhi use kar sakti hain apko permission lene ki koi zaroorat nahiin hai"
I just smiled in return as I didn't wanted to continue the talk any further and my smile would mean that it's the end of the talk. I just walked towards the bed made on floor but then I realised something.
I looked at Sameer and said "can I use your dressing table vo I have to remove my jewelry"
"yeah no problem" maybe he understood that I won't stop taking his permission for everything I do in his room and why should I not take permission it's his room and I am a guest here for few days or perhaps few months and like a good guest I should take his permission for using things in his room.
Now I miss my room a lot I don't know if I'll ever be able to see my room or not because after leaving this house I doubt papa would like me to stay with him in that house and plus with the breaking of this marriage may be the merger too would break I hope not, papa should not face loss because of me.
I took out all the jewelry that I was wearing gosh I was wearing minimum jewelry but still after taking them out I feel lighter. I then walked towards my two bags and opened one of them. I took out my jewelry box and went back towards the dressing table. I kept all my jewelry in the box and then kept the box back in my bag. I took out a simple salwar suit to wear for the night and turned towards Sameer who was coming out of the washroom after changing into his night dress.
"Can I use the washroom" he looked at me and nodded his head in agreement.
After changing I came out and went straight towards my floor bed and sat on it. I was about to lie down when I heard him "can we be friends".
From now on the roller coaster ride begins for naina... with each update there will be one twist that shall come... hope this keeps u hooked to d story and doesnt bores you..
Eagerly waiting for your Reviews, suggestions or feedback